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Can you easily forgive?

‘Good morning’, he said as I walked passed by my asshole, former manager.
I pulled a “if looks could kill” face.
He let out one of those sarcastic laughs and mumbled ‘Is this how it’s going to be’.

Yes, indeed, this is EXACTLY how it’s going to be.
I feel nothing but hate for this man.
I changed every inch of my life for this job.
Moved to another country. Accepted going down in salary.
Almost broke my relationship over the move.
Promosing that everything will be fine. That for once in my life, I will be fine.

But the moment this man became my manager, things went downhill for me.

Over the course of time, I have heard different kind of advices for my situation.

Ignore him
That’s what I am trying to do.
Instead of being happy that I am giving him a free pass to ignore me too, he is playing the dramatizing victim.

Forget about it
Easier said that than done, isn’t it?
I am not made of robot feathers and if you’d be in this situation, neither would you be.

Accept it
This for me is the most disturbing one.
You can’t change the situation anyhow”, I have been told.
I can’t, but I do know who CAN.
I know it’s too optimistic that his manager would actually choose me over him and fire his ass.
But me showing that I am not the type who accepts this kind of beviour is a small step for the next generation. Maybe.

Everyone is replaceable, we all know that.
But what we often don’t consider is that it takes time and money to replace someone.
And if I had to guess who’d take more time and money to replace, I’d put my money on me.
Not because I am better and certainly not because I am more experienced.
But someone with my area of expertise is more rare to find.

In general, I can’t forgive or forget.
Some say it’s not a healthy way of living.
Others tell me it’s up to God to decide who can be forgiven and who can’t.
But just because I am a victim in this case, doesn’t mean I am a Saint.
And I have no intention of meeting him in my after life as well.

So, I’d rather fight it out on Earth.
Not with violence. Not with mean tricks. Not even with bad words.
But I will make very sure that once I leave this company, he will get the blame for letting someone valuable walk away.

Can you easily forgive someone?

Categories: Blogs

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Me & my Skeptical Heart

7 replies

  1. Sending you support. I know people like this all too well. Just reading this I was like “yup, I literally know this situation”. Sending you hugs and support! You are doing the right thing, by standing up for yourself, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh! I wish nobody ever had to go through this. People can be so mean. But honestly, with phrases like “ignore it or accept it” we are not really fighting against. I refuse to stay quiet. The world will know my name 😉

      Sending support and hugs to you too! 🙂🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Do I easily forgive? I used to hold grudges for the longest time. Then, I realized that it wasn’t healthy for me. My acts of revenge are usually destructive, hence not always possible/ realistic. I learned to “let it go.” Not for their sake, but for mine.

    This guy clearly has some issues if he’s not fine with you ignoring him. If I could, I would ignore most people. Unfortunately, many of them have a problem with that. They prefer faked niceness.

    Teenagers are known for complaining about how they don’t belong. There are movies about people who don’t fit in, but somehow, in the end, they always do. I feel like I never will and your post highlights exactly that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now that I think about it, what does “forgiving” actually mean? Or, what does it mean to you?
      I am not the one who will make it my life goal to make their life miserable. And in a way, I do believe in karma.
      But if I can make them look bad, I will.

      Fake niceness is the worst. I see it every morning when the colleagues are shaking each other’s hand or hugging.
      Like we are a bunch of friends. Please!
      I first refused to shake the hands of people that are nasty. Then I refused to shake anyone’s hand. And when they thought I was even weirder, I simply refused showing up at those fake morning meetings.
      For a while they told I am breaking my contract for that, but it seems that they have given up.

      I have never, ever fitted in so I completely get you. I just don’t get why there hasn’t been one single workplace where I was just happy or at least not crying.
      Maybe it’s me. I am honestly starting to consider that. But I do wish someone would just for once point out what makes me so insanely repelling.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t think I’ve ever forgotten something someone did against me. But forgiveness, to me, is not letting it consume me. It’s a way of letting go. Giving up on actively seeking taking my revenge on someone. It’s finding peace for myself. Some people do something because they do not know better, some because they are terrible human beings. Either way, they are not worth my time. Before you say anything – I understand that sometimes arriving at that point takes longer than other times…

        I thought it could be me, too. But I’ve met people who are like me and appreciate the way I am. Unfortunately, those people are not the ones with whom I work the closest. Or the people that have any kind of power… It’s just sad. Once you move to Canada, we should consider opening a dual-nation firm of sorts.

        Liked by 1 person

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