Every time after I finished a course, the participants have to fill out an evaluation.
There are questions about things that I can’t really change, such as the food in the canteen or the fact that there is no heating or ventilation in the classroom.
Other questions are about their opinion on the course, which I have only a little influence on.
I am not saying that I am amazing, but if they would let me develop the course, it would be visually nicer to look at.
Even though I am not a fan of “death by powerpoint”.
Then there are question where they can rate me about my performance and knowledge.
I’ll be honest, this is the part where I am often a bit nervous about.
Often you can pretty much guess who will generous and who won’t.
But I have also been doing this long enough to know that there can be surprises.
Today, was not that day.
This team really seemed to like me.
We laughed and had fun, but since they had a large interest in the topic, I went a bit deeper in the material.
I was confident this was going to be good one.
The fact that I am writing a blog about it now, you can guess that it wasn’t as all I expected.
Now since this were Scandanivian people, I did know they wouldn’t give me a 5 star evaluation.
But if a Northern European says something is OK, they actually are very satisfied.
So, surely it was going to be 4 out of 5.
My face turned red when I saw some scores of 2/5 and 3/5 on my knowledge.
And even a comment that I couldn’t be taken serious as a teacher.
I somehow held in my tears and kept on smiling friendly.
“I can’t see the evaluations”, I lied, “So is there anything you would like to add to the course? Or any tips for me to improve?”.
It stayed quiet, so I let them go.
As soon as I closed the door behind them, I bursted out in tears.
How could I have been so incredibly off?
Who decides if you are good at something or not?
Are it in this case, my participants?
Can my manager, who has never seen me perform, say anything about it?
Or can you evaluate yourself a bit as well?
I once told my manager that the topic of Electrical Safety is the only thing I will ever be arrogant about.
I am good at it and how could I not be?
It’s been my career focus for 9 years in 3 different major Wind Power businesses.
I have basically seen it all.
And then to be told by someone who only just started in this business that my knowledge is a 2 out of 5?
Sadly, my dick manager will take his opinion over mine.
Self evaluation isn’t always fair.
Not only it is sometimes hard to admit that you need to improve on something.
But when you are stuck in a certain routine, it’s also hard to see why something that always has worked, wouldn’t work now.
Being Evaluated by someone can be nerve wrecking, but if done properly, it can be very beneficial.
But let’s not forget that if you are too hard on people that obviously did try, it will leave a scar on their heart.
And this is yet another one I have to heal.
I’m running out of duct tape.
What is your opinion about who can say if you are good at something or not?