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Why this constant competition of “who had it worse”?

This morning I was working on my CV by using an app which informed me that this could be a typical tool used by HR when choosing victims candidates for a job interview.
It gave me tips on how I could make it look like I have done miracles with my career.
But even more interesting, it could actually give me a description of my personality by the way I formulated my words.

I smiled proudly at the postives.
But let me tell you, this app does not sugarcoat the negatives.
It is not so much that I couldn’t bear this “criticism”, I have to admit that the results were not completely off.
But that fact that an app ASSUMES that they know me better than I know myself was one step too far!
“What makes you think you know me?!”, I shouted at the laptop, “Don’t you think there are good reasons behind those negative personality features?!”

The same happens on the blogosphere.
Most likely nobody on WordPress knows you.
Some bloggers choose to stay anonymous.
Others are more open about their life.
Either way, if you follow someone long and solid enough, you might get an idea why they have a certain opinion which isn’t parallel with yours.

My blog is relatively new.
And if you don’t “know” me from my previous blog, it is possible you will raise eyebrows at some of the stuff I write.
Or perhaps even say that I am close minded, non+compassionate and resentful.
But the truth is, I always have a reason why I am expressing a certain opinion.

This is based on an assumption, but I think everyone has their underlying reasons.
But most likely you will not refer to them in every single post, or at all.

I was born in former Yugoslavia, in the early months of the war.
When my parents realized it wasn’t safe anymore, they packed up the essentials and left everything behind.
Money, Family, house, photo’s and their now useless highschool Degree.
Terrible years of insecurity followed until the day both mum and dad ended up in hospital.
Mum was out within a few weeks. Dad stayed for 2 years with severe depression.
Next to the war trauma, both of them dealt their own issues during their youth.

So yeah, if someone just bluntly assumes that a teenager from a wealthy country has a more difficult youth than me, I will spit fire.
Wouldn’t you?

I think most of us have been on both ends.
So have I.
I’ve been accused, I have accused.

We hide behind the reason of wanting to raise awareness, but sometimes  it seems like a competition of who had it worse.
Do you secretly think you had it worse than all the people around?

Have people ever thought that you always had it good just because now you are doing good for yourself?

Do you usually explain the underlying reasons for an “extreme” opinion?

This is in no way a affliated post, but if you want to use that site to see what your personality is based on your CV, go to:

Resume Nerd

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Categories: Blogs

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Me & my Skeptical Heart

5 replies

  1. 1. What’s the app? Now I am curious.

    2. Our experiences shape our opinions. It would be silly if that was not the case. People tell me not to generalize. Obviously, I have not interacted with everyone on this planet. Maybe I haven’t even interacted with the same people they have. I can only speak about my little corner of the world (or corners). I can speak about the people whom I met. We talk about diversity and tolerance for people with other backgrounds, but why is it so bad to have a different opinion based on our varied experience. Just because you haven’t experienced what I have does not allow you to call me accusatory names. Yes, I have the right to speak my mind. No, it does not only apply to nice things and things that align with your opinions.

    3. You make a very valid observation. While I write my posts, I try to explain my reasoning, but I don’t always feel comfortable enough to reveal all of my experience. Or sometimes I don’t even think of doing so, because I don’t think it’s essential for the post. But it’s so easy for others to judge us based off a single sentence.

    4. I hate the “who had it worse” competition, because I think it’s all subjective. It’s a constant battle. My parents would tell me how my childhood was so much better than theirs. Maybe. Or maybe not. Depends which angle you look at it from. It depends on what matters to the person looking at it. And even more so, WHO CARES? Why would they feel the need to say: “You have it so much easier than us?” I know they were trying to teach me to count my blessings and be grateful for what I have. However, it does not stop me from complaining about MY life because it’s MINE. Why would I compare it to someone else’s life that I have not even witnessed? We’ve discussed on your old blog about blue vs. white collar jobs. The manual workers will say they have it worse than the people sitting in an office all day. And vice versa.

    5. I think I’ve had it worse than some, but better than others. I think most people fit into that category.

    6. Aren’t we supposed to be equals? Shouldn’t we be focusing on ourselves and not compare ourselves to others?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1. Resume nerd. There is a link in the bottom of the post. If you decide to do it, let’s trade 😄

      Ah yeah, the blue and white collar discussion.
      In the end, my papercut is worse than toothache, because I am the who feels my pain. I don’t think people will ever come to an agreement.

      Is comparing the only way to measure?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “…because I am the who feels my pain.” Precisely.

        I will try to remember the name and do it at home, if I have some time.

        Good question. I think we should just assess things based on how it affects us. However, we have eyes and ears and will always look to others for affirmation.


  2. Do you have to have a cv for it?

    I don’t think I assume anything about peoples experiences. For the most part I presume they had and have it harder than I could ever know.

    Love, light and glitter


  3. I know what you mean. For years it felt like everyone thought they had it worse than me and it used to bug me. Finally I decided “who cares what anyone thinks?” But it took me sooo long to get here! I wish you the best.

    Liked by 1 person

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