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When someone tells you to “just not stress”

Has anyone ever advised you “not to stress” in a moment where you visibly had it more stressful than them?
I can’t be the only one who finds it incredibly annoying.
The fact that a saying like this makes me want to punch a wall, will not help me in proving my point of me NOT BEING STRESSED at all.


Today I was teaching one of my last classes.
While the people were great fun, I highly doubted that any of them would have passed the test with a bit of help from the teacher.
And with a little, I was constantly dragged from one side of the classroom to the other to help them out with the questions.
The fact that each of them had different questions, who were more tricky than difficult, didn’t make it easier for me.

I find the ability to help others one of the best feelings, but I am sure that the sweat on my forehead showed that it was a bit exhausting.
And probably the class was more than thankful for my helpful, them leaving as fast as they can doesn’t give me quite that confirmation.
I was left behind with the huge mess they made.

To my big surprise, one stayed behind to help me to clean up.
I gave him a smile of appreciation.
That’s when he said it.

“You know Andrea, I used to be stressed like you, but since I gave that up, I feel much happier”.

Time to get the shotgun.
He does realize that I didn’t really needed to stress and help all of them out.
I could have just taken my 30 minutes of relaxation and watch all of them fail.
Because, without my corrections, that’s what would have happened.
And then they had to tell that news to their manager.
Let’s see if you could have kept that stress to a minimum.

Everyone these days seems to be so obsessed with living a stress free life.
And if you even do as much as sigh too loud, they are ready to give you the same old advice of “just don’t stress”.

Easier said than done.
Besides, what is the alternative?
Hold it in until you burst?
What is wrong with giving someone an opportunity to vent?
Let that battery drain.
You won’t do anyone, let alone yourself, a favour by running in overload.

“I am not stressed”, I told him, “it was just a bit…. well, stressful for me”.

“But we all passed”, he argued.

This was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“No. It was actually me who basically passed the test 9 times”.

But I found a way to hold that in.
I knew I couldn’t have won that argument without looking stressed.

How do you feel when someone advices you to “just not stress”?

Do you often tell that someone else?

Categories: Blogs

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Me & my Skeptical Heart

8 replies

  1. I agree with you. My pet peeve is people telling me ‘not to worry.’ We live in a day and age where people expect you to live a certain way, in a certain kind of light. And if you are struggling just a little bit you might be some kind of a failure. I disagree; I feel we are being more human.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As to what happens when someone tells me to just not stress, it honestly varies from circumstance to circumstance. That being said, what you’re talking about reminds me of something called “toxic positivity,” which I have heard about a lot more lately.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Time to get the shotgun” made me laugh.

    You touched upon an important issue. There is a difference when I’m stressed because I need to do something and when I’m stressed because I’m trying my best to help someone. The first one I can handle. The second, if you tell me not to stress, or you’re not appreciative, it makes me want to grab your shotgun 😀

    The opposite of stressing is not caring. And I find that hard to achieve. I find me caring to be an often pain in my ass. People who do not care do not stress and live a healthier and happier life. They probably will end up living longer, too.

    So to me, the whole trend of stress-free life is breeding a generation of people who do not care about anything. To me, that’s dangerous. But if they don’t care, why should I?

    Oh, wow. I read the last line and… yup… like I said above – when I stress to help someone and then they don’t appreciate it… No wonder you were livid.


    1. Haha. I need the shotgun multiple times a day for different reasons when I am around people 😉

      I only accept the “don’t stress” advice only when someone gives me a better alternative.
      And indeed, if I stress to help them, then honestly don’t even open your mouth.

      Stress free doesn’t even exist.
      Maybe if your parents are wealthy and will support you no matter how many times you fuck up.
      It’s wonderful if you are born that fortunate, but that’s not actually living.

      Besides where I stress about one thing, other stress about another thing.
      Sometimes when I have real assholes in class, I ask them to find a piece of information in a document. Afterwards I pull them in front the classroom and let them explain in their OWN WORDS.
      You should see their stress level rising! And I simply say “Relax. No need to be nervous”.

      (Internal evil laugh)

      Liked by 1 person

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