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Will they ever realize that life is not unicorns and rainbows?

Have you ever observed people and thought to yourself “Are you for real”?

Urban Dictionary  describes this phrase as:
When someone says something so outrageous that you have to clarify their sanity.

Some people seem to have their head so far up their ass, that all they see are unicorns and rainbows through their rose tinted glasses.
Or at least, they pretend to see good in everything and everyone.

Last week I went for dinner with one of the course participants.
During the course I saw that he was not entirely there with his mind and felt like he had to get something of his chest.
So I let him.
I am more of a listener than a talker, anyway.

His issue seemed a bit deeper than just the admin stuff he had to take care of.
And thus he started telling his life story.
When he mentioned that last year he changed his life for the better, after reading one of those motivational books, I cringed instantly.

If there is only one thing that I dislike more than my manager it must be those kind of books.
They are too superficial and generic.
They make it look like life is so incredibly easy.
If only.

But I prepared myself to stay calm, smile and nod during his rant.
I did struggle when he started to give me advice on how to live my life.
Mainly because he hadn’t shown any interest in anything I do.

Then my  phone screen lighted up because of an incoming text message.
My background picture become visible: my little sceptical heart.

img_1801

He asked about it.
I should have stopped myself there and then, but my doodles are truly my pride and joy.

The Sceptical heart was created during a team building event where we were asked to draw something that is our trademark.
I don’t really believe in this, because I have changed a lot over the years.
But the one constant that remained is that I have always been a Sceptic by Heart.
(Hence the name of this blog 😉 ).

He stared at it for a while.
I didn’t expect a compliment, but secretly hoped for it.

Instead he started lecturing me how his holy book said that skeptism will prevent you from experiencing life to its fullest.

Our conversation continued with a question from him about my plans now that I don’t have a job anymore.
I told him about this company that I have tried to apply for several times but was declined each time.

“I am starting to believe it’s impossible to get in”, I laughed.
His face turned serious.
“My book says that nothing is impossible if you just believe in yourself!  You should be less critical to yourself and not give up”.

There are a few things to say about his statement.

First of all, if I ever get hold of that damn book, I am going throw it to his face.
Also, he MUST realize that the author has written it for profit reasons and not to make HIS life better.

Second.
Really? All I have to do is believe in myself?
That easy, ha?
I will tell my parents that the financial struggles to pay for my education were not needed AT ALL.
We just had to believe in me.
I’m sure they’ll be delighted to hear that.

Third.
Why do we always assume someone is insecure?!
People have been considered insecure when they wear (too) much make up.
When they share their accomplishments on Facebook.
And apparently also when you just keep quiet about it.
Honestly, the last time I felt too critical towards myself, is over a decade ago.

Last.
Sometimes, it’s ok to give up.
Or take a break at least.
Trust me, a stalker alarm will be released if you apply for each and every vacancy 10 times.

Do you often think you’re the only rational person on earth?
What makes you think “are you for real?” ?

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Me & my Skeptical Heart

13 replies

  1. I feel like not only do I know this guy, I hate him. Self help books are great for those who need them, but once they start preaching “the good word” and every time I say anything it turns into “the book says…” then I am pretty well done. So yeah, there are days I’m certain I’m the only rational one, and wonder if the person I’m talking to is messing with me because they can’t be for real.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! I think we all know at least one or two people like that. Even though, these days everyone seems to be like that.
      Honestly, he didn’t seem actually happy, he only pretended.
      Probably because his book told him to visualize happiness and then one day you may actually become happy.
      UGH!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I consider myself a religious person but when someone starts quoting Bible verses, my patience is tested. Doing so detaches people from the conversation. You feel like you’re back in a classroom. Who wants that? You have to be able to read the room. If you like quoting specific passages and are talking to someone else who likes that, go for it. But if someone’s not engaging, stop pushing it.

    So if I have issues with something I believe in, why would I allow others to reference any other book in their every statement. Also, it just shows how ridiculous you are. Can’t you think for yourself?

    I truly believe that there is a right time and the wrong time for things. I use myself as an example. I thought mindfullness was crap. I didn’t listen to anyone who even mentioned it. And then, one day, I found a way to adopt it into my lifestyle. I believe since then, my life HAS been better. Do I preach the “enlightened” way to others? No. Why? because they are not me. Their life is different than mine. What applies to me might not apply to them. Yes, I can mention this and that, but I won’t lecture anyone on it and try to show them “the way.”

    We all are triggered by different things. I hate it when people tell me to chill and that I stress unnecessarily and that life is beautiful when I feel otherwise (pertains to your last post, too). It’s not that they never get stressed. It’s just that they do not get stressed in stressful for me situations. They do get stressed by other things. Usually those that do not stress me one bit.

    Self-help books make me cringe, too. Yes, they are generic. Yes, they make things sound easy. And yes, they are difficult to apply to individual scenarios.

    You hit the nail on the head when you said he didn’t show interest in the things you do. I think we often give advice BEFORE we understand where this person is coming from. I think understanding and empathy are building blocks of any good help.

    You know I think Valentino is awesome. Him trying to “help you” because of your phone wallpaper is ridiculous. I used to wear a lot of black. Still do, because I like the color. People think I’m depressed… Really?

    Those cliche statements regarding not giving up can be annoying. I agree that you shouldn’t. I believe that things will work out in the end (somehow). But I do not believe that you can accomplish anything if you only want it hard enough. I think I’m all out of “want” and still nothing…

    Agreed. It’s not about not believing in yourself. Unfortunately, the world requires others to believe in you, too. But even if you don’t care about that and you still believe in yourself, sometimes you take a different route in life to see where it leads you.

    You’ve gotta tape my mouth shut. Or take away my keyboard, because these comments are getting outrageous.

    Like

    1. Your comment could be an entire blog.
      But keep on writing. Usually you just confirm what I am thinking.
      And also now, I completely agree with you.

      The bible is a perfect example.
      The only person I’d accept lecturing of the bible is by a priest itself.

      I think most of the time people are not necessarily seeking for advice.
      But others still want to give it.
      Why is that?
      To help? Or to show that their life is so put together?
      But honestly, if you haven’t been through the same thing, your advice is probably worthless.
      That’s why I don’t believe in therapy.

      In the cases that I need advice, I actually always mention it.
      If I don’t mention it, I actually just want to talk.

      I think I have mentioned it before, but I have been criticized by my doodles often.
      Because they all look a bit angry.
      So I must be an angry person too, right?
      Really exhausting.

      I too have always worn a lot of black.
      Gothic, depressed, grieving. I’ve heard it all.
      What happened to the time when black was considered sophisticated?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Indeed. I recently came in to work in all black. My co-worker asked me who died… I find it funny that usually the people that annoy me about one thing have a million annoying qualities. They just keep surprising me with new things every day…

        Like

        1. Believe it or not, I was once told that I should wear less black during a yearly evaluation. Apparently I showed too much sadness with it.
          I was VERY close to buy neon print pants and shirt. Sometimes I feel that I have to go that far just to prove a point.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey… a kindred spirit! Enjoyed your blog and thanks for following mine. I’m kinda new to this whole blog thing (only been doing it a month) but I like the idea of people meeting over common ground from anywhere on Earth. And you’re right, life can’t always give us a Disney ending otherwise we’d all end up like popsicles in a cryogenics lab waiting for a cure for whatever took us to the Magic Kingdom.
    And good luck with the job hunt, kiddo.
    Mr Ormsby
    P.S. You’re the first blog I’ve ever written to so can you tell me if you received this comment just so I know I’m doing it correctly? Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Welcome to the blogging community then! 🙂
      I used to blog a lot, then took a break, and I have to blog for a few months. So also a bit new 😉

      And yes, I received your comment perfectly fine! Sometimes comments go directly to spam for some reason. So make sure that you check the Spam folder every now and then 🙂

      Like

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